 |
| If you say so smiley face....if you say... |
Why do we write blogs? Is it to just share with the world what we're thinking or do some of us hope that our words have an impact on those reading them? It's a mixture of both for me, but I write because it makes me feel better. What good is (mind) bottling your emotions and thoughts inside of your head and let them fester? Don't you think it's better to get it off your chest and what better way than a blog!
So that's the topic for today: Emotions. We all have them and we all don't always want them. Sometimes you'd believe that it'd be easier to not feel anything than go through the roller coaster of feelings. I mean, there's nothing wrong with feelings, but when they start to overpower you and control your day, that's when I draw the line. So needless to say, I've had a lot of thoughts lately. Work, life, saving, blah blah blah. It's always the same song and dance routine, but one that just doesn't go away. I think that, "Hey, if I pay off my school loan, I'll feel better" or "Maybe today is the day I'll be pro-active and send out my resume", but that's wishful thinking. I still have 6.5 years to pay off my loan at a large amount each month and by the time I get home from work, I'm too exhausted to spend my last few free hours of the day applying to jobs.
Maybe (this is in regard to job hunting) it's the feeling that I've gotten rejected so many times or the fact that I have little experience in my field of interest, but I've gotten to that safety zone. That zone where what I do everyday may not be great (and even downright depressing), but it's something I'm used to and can do with little difficulty. But that's not where I want to be in life. I see hard working people (my age) and just wonder what I could have done differently up to this point or even change moving forward.
So that's my goal for the month of March. It's time to stop dreaming of change and to start making it happen. So for that, I'm instituting the "1-for-1" program. Simply speaking, I'm going to apply for 1 job everyday this month. I've already failed at doing this yesterday and there's a good chance I'm not going to do it tonight, but on Thursday, I will apply to 3 jobs. From that point forward, it will be 1 application a day. This may not lead to anything right away, but I have a much better chance than just going to my job everyday and hoping something comes along (without any input from me).
Strange enough, I'm already starting to feel better. I guess that just happens sometimes when you finally get what was bothering you out into the open. But sadly that's not all of my woes. There are other issues I (feel) I am dealing with and I'm trying to work on them. Some of them are short term and some may be longer than I like. But I can't keeping going on the way I've been. It's not healthy for me or for those around me; they don't deserve it.
I want to be happy, plain and simple. And I think I can achieve that with a little hard work. I've always been a firm believer that we have the power to change our attitude (even though I do believe in destiny and what's meant to happen will happen). But when you come home at the end of a work day (Monday through Friday) and the only thing you want to do is just be alone in your room, that's when I know I've hit my breaking point. I'm not going to whine about my past anymore (or at least try to) and be jealous of those who have it better than me. I may not be where I thought I would end up at this point in my life when I was younger, but it doesn't mean it's unobtainable. It might just be a while until I'm caught up.
So that's it from me for today. It's also the reason I haven't posted in a while. My blogs might not be in a chronological reading order where each (or any) of them matter, but they do to me. For that reason, I want to make sure each one is substantial and has a specific purpose in mind.
So thank you for reading and I'll keep you updated on my 1-for-1 job hunting initiative!
