Hi, my name is J.P. and I'm an addict...

More like: "Spider-Man for J.P. No More!"

...to comic books that is. Seriously! What did you think I was going to say? But I am addicted to them and my friends won't deny that. Neither will my family. Or anyone that knows me. Well you get the point. If you read my post yesterday, then you know that I feel that comics are a big part of why I've been feeling blue these last couple of days. I thought it might help the healing process if I tried to rationalize and examine the reasons these $2.99 picture books are dampening my mood.

Exhibit #1: The collector
I'm a collector in the sense that I need to own them all! In fact, if Pokemon were real, you'd better believe I'd be out there trying to catch 'em all. I'd do whatever it takes to have a full collection, even if I had not intention of using half of them. The same went for comic books. If one series of a character came out, I'd feel the need to buy every series with that character. And don't even get me started on crossovers and checklists. I'm a sucker for them and for comics that share a similar banner at the top of the front cover that designate a connecting theme. It's this reason that led me to buying more and more comics.

Exhibit #2: The price
Although a comic book is not expensive ($2.99 or $3.99 for the average comic book), buying about 90-100 a month is. Even with finding websites online that offer amazing discounts (50%-75% each title), it was still coming to be around $200/month. That's just too much and whereas I have no problem spending that much on something I enjoy, being constantly reminded (e.g. my parents, my bills, etc.) that it's a big cost, it left me with a guilty feeling and one that overshadowed the joy that comics brought to me.

Exhibit #3: The feeling of urgency
If you're anything like me, then you believe that every comic is going to be that one comic that becomes incredibly rare. Even knowing that you have no intention of selling it, you fear that if you don't buy it now, you'll only be able to purchase it later at conventions or Ebay at a much higher price that cover price. Well that's how I felt. I'd get the monthly solicitation and start seeing all the upcoming titles and felt that urgency to ensure I bought each and every one that I was potentially interested in. While I did read all of the new ones that I bought, even ones I thought were sub-par, I'd continue to buy because I was afraid that as soon as I stopped, that's when it would pick up and be rare. So far I haven't been right one.

So with all of these well written (pat on the back) reasons, why would I ever collect comics? Let's now hear from the defense...

Exhibit #1: Escape
That feeling of, even temporarily, escaping from reality and just immersing yourself in a fictional world where you're a spectator. That's how I felt each time I opened up a comic book. It felt great to know there was a place you could go to after a hard and aggravating day of work. Or maybe somebody said something to you that just got on your nerves and you needed to unwind. Movies used to do that for me. Video games used to do that for me. But comics were very consistent in fulfilling this requirement.

Exhibit #2: Joy
There wasn't a greater feeling I got (aside from being with my fiancee...love you!!!) when that monthly box of comics came in and I started checking them off against the packing list. From there, I would organize them into the week that they came out, bag and board them, and eventually add them to my ever-growing list in Excel. I would update my checklists, continue reading a good storyline, and feel that I was on top of what was going on in the Marvel and DC universe (I could care less, with the exception of Walking Dead, for any other publisher). I loved seeing the artwork, having the story come to life in my head, and eagerly wait until the next issue. Plus it was nice to be able to talk to my one good friend about the stories and have that joy of dialogue.

I miss all of this. I can't seem to justify spending all that money anymore, especially when I know I'm about to be receiving a lot more expenses in the upcoming months and years. If I could, I'd love to be able to pay for everything, but I don't see myself striking oil or winning the lottery anytime soon. However I do have a plant and that plan does include a Masters degree and eventually a higher paying job. Then again, that could just mean that I have more money for savings and for a family at some point.

See where the vicious circle of fiscal responsibility comes into play?

Which Path to Take?



Yup. That's how I've been feeling.

 Well it sure has been awhile since I posted the last blog. Since that time, I've been busy with wedding planning, work, and anything in between really. What started as a fun side project just to entertain myself during the workday and hopefully to you readers, became a distant thought in recent weeks. I'm not sure what's going on in my head, but I think I've lost my way.

If you've been following my blog (please say you have), then you know all about my attitude towards my job, my recent job interview that did not go as planned, and just how I've felt in general. Well in truth, I'm not sure why I've been feeling down since a few days ago, but I can't seem to shake this attitude. Personally, I equate it to me quitting my comic book collection (oh I'm soooo cool) at the end of March. When I first quit, I didn't feel upset or even down about it. I figured it had taken up a lot of my time and money and it was good to part ways. But lately, I feel like the emotions I should have expressed 3 months ago are starting to surface.

Think of it as an addiction (sadly). You separate yourself from the one thing you love or need (or think you need), and you start to act outside of your character. I feel like the one thing/one hobby/one activity that I loved doing is gone and I can't understand why. It was a $200/month hobby and I couldn't afford it. Well, that's not true. I could afford it, but it would make my upcoming marriage a little difficult as that is $200/month that could be going towards bills, loans, and other necessities. So the logical choice was to give it up. Right?

Well I thought so too at first. I was gung-ho actually and happy to be free of this burden. I went back to video games I have accumulated over the last couple of years, starting catching up on anime (told you I was cool), and felt like I got some piece of my free time back. So why the sudden shift back into depression-like status? I'm not sure. I can't pinpoint what exactly started this downward spiral, but I have a few thoughts.

The first is all the summer superhero movies coming out. From Thor, X-Men, Green Lantern, and Captain America, it got me thinking about all the stories I had read about them and all of the stories I'd never get to see. Now before I go further, let me just explain: I understand that comics are not real and reading the stories that Marvel and DC publish is not a life necessity. But I can't justify why I feel I need to read them. Call it an addiction, obsession, or just love of the "escape from reality into a fictional world" mentality, I miss it. Especially with all of the comic book story lines coming out: Flashpoint, Fear Itself, Spider-Island, and so on. It was something to be a part of and I loved it.

Another reason includes my friends. See, one of my friends works at a comic book store and another friend just enjoys the genre. They have been seeing all the new blockbuster superhero movies coming out at the midnight showing. Sadly, because I have to get up early in the morning, I've been unable to attend and they refuse to wait a few hours until I can see it later the same day. I associate collecting and reading comics as a substitute for my friends, sadly enough. Comics don't let you down (at least the same way that your friends do when they honestly can't wait a few hours to see a movie). It's gotten to the point where I don't even want to hang out with them (and other reasons aside from my movie going example).

The third reason is life. Life is happening and I just don't feel like I'm going anywhere. I work at a job I don't particularly love and comics was my justification for working hard everyday. It was that past-time activity that I would do when I came home at 5:30 p.m. And for those who are about to get the wrong idea, my upcoming marriage. I'm stoked and thrilled to get married, but everyone needs a hobby to themselves. Comics was mine. Well before that it was games and before that it was movies. Which brings me to my fourth point.

Since I will be getting married, I've started selling my games and movies I've collected over the past decade. It's not even the fact that I'm getting practically nothing for them, but the fact that I'm getting rid of them. I feel like I'm getting rid of a piece of myself and for what reason? Because I don't have space? Because my parents don't want it in the house? Because any additional cash will be worth it in the upcoming months? Even with all those reasons, it's hard to part with something that you've invested a lot of time into.

Then of course is the job situation. I graduated with a bachelor's degree and with no experience. I'm not sure about the rest of you, but it's hard to get a job when you can't even meet the core requirements of an entry level position. Not to mention that your own company doesn't see the worth in promoting you or allowing you to gain experience in your field. If it was up to me, I'd just pack up and leave (and I mean that in general). I'd come home right now, pack up my stuff, take my money, and then start driving. I've been thinking about it for a long-time now and even though it won't happen, I've felt like I needed to go find myself to feel whole again.

But enough of that happy topic, har har....

I have been trying to be proactive in a few areas and those include: 1) sending a letter to a local university about their evening masters program that I hope to attend later this year/early next year. 2) with the aid of my fiancee, I am looking into possibly collaborating on some upcoming marketing projects at her current place of employment. 3) at my work, I have been working on shadowing co-workers in my field to gain some knowledge and experience.

While the process is slow, I am trying to rebound from this wave of negative emotions, but it's taking time. I seem to keep relapsing every so often so I'm not sure when and if I'll ever feel back to "normal".

So to thank you for reading this incredibly long blog (it really is long), make sure to check out the web comic strip that brings a smile to my face every morning. I now introduce you to: www.bugcomic.com