My tummy hurts!

It. Hurts. So Much. Darn. LIGHTNING BOLTS!!!

I woke up feeling pretty sick this morning. It was 5:20 a.m. and I felt like I was going to throw-up (eww gross, right?!). On top of that, I had some really bad chills to the point where I thought I was never going to stop shaking. I took two Pepto Bismol pills and voila, I'm at work. I'm not feeling 100% great, but I figured I was good enough to go to work. So that was my morning, how was yours? Haha.

But really folks, I came upon a self-realization this morning as I was thinking about my blog. Here I am complaining about my job (or just jobs in general) when there are so many who are unemployed in one form or another. Who wants to read about someone that has a job and can't appreciate? Not me, that's for sure. Yet, I still continue to write. I'm not sure of the real reason(s) behind it, but I'm past the point where "You should be thankful you have a job" has any real impact on me. I don't mean to sound cold, but it's the truth. Yes, I am very thankful I have a job and that's why I work hard when I'm there. That's why I give it my best from 8:30-5:00 p.m. M-F. But I'm still allowed to be unhappy.

I'm not in the job I want to do for the rest of my life, plain and simple. I know. You probably know. It's a fact. So just because I'm one of the lucky to have a place to come to everyday and get paid, doesn't mean that all my problems just drift away. They are still there and they are still evident. Now, does that mean I'm going to quit before getting into a position that I want? Heck no, geronimo (I just wanted to rhyme). But it does mean I'm still a realist to my current situation.

So where am I headed with this? I'm not really sure. Earlier this month I touched upon my 1-for-1 initiative. This was in regard to me applying to 1 job a day. Well surprise surprise, that didn't really happen. I don't know why I didn't follow through, but I did apply to one job. It's within my company and it's closer to the marketing path than where I am at now. I've followed up since sending out my resume and am just waiting to hear back if I will get an interview. I don't know what's to come, but I know I have to make more of an effort.

Anyone can tell you that when it comes to me and comics, I won't slack. And really it's the same with my job. But for some reason, applying has been a struggle. It could be that I've gotten disheartened about the lack of experience I have or the lack of flashy-ness my resume and cover letter lack, but I need to change. I have researched more effective documents to send for the applications and I have accepted that whatever skills I have, I have to showcase them.

So here goes *cough cough* (remember I'm sick?) nothing with the 1-for-1 Initiative v2!

Remember the Good 'Ol Days?!

Gotta catch 'em all...POKEMON!!!

I'm feeling nostalgic. It's nothing to new for me, but I've been thinking about the past more often recently than ever before. I'm not entirely sure why, but everyday there's some new old thought that pops up in my mind that may or may not have anything to do with what's going on in my life at that moment.

For example, I went out to eat yesterday with some friends and we started talking about Pokemon. The new game came out a few days ago and it made me think about 7th/8th grade when the very first game reached the U.S. shores. I started thinking about the actual game (pretty normal considering the topic), but then my mind started wandering to other events around that timeframe. And that's how it's been recently.

Whether it's when I'm waking up, sitting at work, driving home, or lying in bed, I can't help stopping to think about the past. Maybe it's because I'm feeling unhappy or in this "life slump" for a while. I'm not really sure what the cause is, but it's starting to drive me crazy. See, there's nothing wrong about thinking of past memories, but when it starts to really affect how you're feeling, that's when it's starting to take over my day.

So what to do about it? I can think about upcoming events (e.g. my wedding...w00t!), but sooner or later those older thoughts re-surface. It could be about a TV show, video games, what I used to do after school, who I used to hang out with, my hobbies, or anything under the sun. I'm not saying that I want to forget my experiences that have led me to this point in time, but I can't seem to get a handle on them.

I have friends who could care less about the present, let alone the past. I have others who simply acknowledge that what once was is done and there's no point thinking about it. For those of you who know me (and probably the ones reading this), know me a little too well to know that I'm more than just a "simply" nostalgic kind of guy. I could have a whole dinner conversation on it (which I'm sure I have before) and sometimes it's fun to talk about the glory days.

Other times, when I'm left to my own thoughts, it's a little disheartening to remember these events and then realize where I am in my life. Sure, a lot of things are going really good for me, but the ones that aren't are the ones that my nostalgic feeds upon. In conclusion (ah the elementary school years), I'm not going to publicly post this one on facebook, so we'll see who actually reads this. As always, I'm not sure where I was headed with this post (or rant if you will), but I needed to get it out there.

Just another thought to come back to later down the road.

The 1-For-1 Initiative!

If you say so smiley face....if you say...

Why do we write blogs? Is it to just share with the world what we're thinking or do some of us hope that our words have an impact on those reading them? It's a mixture of both for me, but I write because it makes me feel better. What good is (mind) bottling your emotions and thoughts inside of your head and let them fester? Don't you think it's better to get it off your chest and what better way than a blog!

So that's the topic for today: Emotions. We all have them and we all don't always want them. Sometimes you'd believe that it'd be easier to not feel anything than go through the roller coaster of feelings. I mean, there's nothing wrong with feelings, but when they start to overpower you and control your day, that's when I draw the line. So needless to say, I've had a lot of thoughts lately. Work, life, saving, blah blah blah. It's always the same song and dance routine, but one that just doesn't go away. I think that, "Hey, if I pay off my school loan, I'll feel better" or "Maybe today is the day I'll be pro-active and send out my resume", but that's wishful thinking. I still have 6.5 years to pay off my loan at a large amount each month and by the time I get home from work, I'm too exhausted to spend my last few free hours of the day applying to jobs.

Maybe (this is in regard to job hunting) it's the feeling that I've gotten rejected so many times or the fact that I have little experience in my field of interest, but I've gotten to that safety zone. That zone where what I do everyday may not be great (and even downright depressing), but it's something I'm used to and can do with little difficulty. But that's not where I want to be in life. I see hard working people (my age) and just wonder what I could have done differently up to this point or even change moving forward.

So that's my goal for the month of March. It's time to stop dreaming of change and to start making it happen. So for that, I'm instituting the "1-for-1" program. Simply speaking, I'm going to apply for 1 job everyday this month. I've already failed at doing this yesterday and there's a good chance I'm not going to do it tonight, but on Thursday, I will apply to 3 jobs. From that point forward, it will be 1 application a day. This may not lead to anything right away, but I have a much better chance than just going to my job everyday and hoping something comes along (without any input from me).

Strange enough, I'm already starting to feel better. I guess that just happens sometimes when you finally get what was bothering you out into the open. But sadly that's not all of my woes. There are other issues I (feel) I am dealing with and I'm trying to work on them. Some of them are short term and some may be longer than I like. But I can't keeping going on the way I've been. It's not healthy for me or for those around me; they don't deserve it.

I want to be happy, plain and simple. And I think I can achieve that with a little hard work. I've always been a firm believer that we have the power to change our attitude (even though I do believe in destiny and what's meant to happen will happen). But when you come home at the end of a work day (Monday through Friday) and the only thing you want to do is just be alone in your room, that's when I know I've hit my breaking point. I'm not going to whine about my past anymore (or at least try to) and be jealous of those who have it better than me. I may not be where I thought I would end up at this point in my life when I was younger, but it doesn't mean it's unobtainable. It might just be a while until I'm caught up.

So that's it from me for today. It's also the reason I haven't posted in a while. My blogs might not be in a chronological reading order where each (or any) of them matter, but they do to me. For that reason, I want to make sure each one is substantial and has a specific purpose in mind.

So thank you for reading and I'll keep you updated on my 1-for-1 job hunting initiative!